Conversation during sex

Kelly Gonsalves is a sex educator, relationship coach, and journalist. She received her journalism degree from Northwestern University, and her writings on sex, relationships, identity, and wellness have appeared at The Cut, Vice, Teen Vogue, Cosmopolitan, and elsewhere. And I don't mean before the sex starts or after it ends although both are great things as well. I mean during the actual sex. If you're indeed a talker in bed, you're probably a lot happier with your sex life than the rest of us zipped-lipped fornicators. To clarify, you can certainly talk with your body: Nonverbal cues, including moving someone's hand where you want it to go, moaning when they do something you like, or shaking your head when something makes you uncomfortable, all count as forms of communication.

Dirty talk may feel strange at first as you pick your brain for the perfect dirty things to say to your partner. Relax a little—talking dirty isn't an exact science, and navigating it relies more on how comfortable you are versus how much you know about it. Here's how to talk dirty during sex, plus sexy things to say to your partner outside the bedroom to build excitement. Give yourself permission to go at your own pace.

Everyone needs a few dirty talk phrases in their repertoire. One that requires thought, patience, and practice until it becomes intuitive and effective. They make sex all the better. But what are some dirty talk phrases to keep in the chamber?

No clue what to say? Start here. My partner has expressed that he wants me to start talking dirty to him I'm nervous I'll say the wrong, un-sexy thing and ruin the vibe, or take things too far and freak him out.